“The E-Files” meets Law & Order: “More Jell-O, Dear?”
(Original post date – 26-Mar-07)

ded Life?” I think not. Except in the case of her sentence, maybe…
First off, I’d like to state this story is going off in a different direction than others that you’ve seen here. No cheap jokes about male genitalia or odd fetishes this time. This story hit ‘too close for comfort’ for me to take that lightly. Please bear with me…

Here’s yet another one about a relationship that went terribly wrong at some point. Others include Great Balls Of Fire, Astronaut's Diaper Drive and King Solomon's Divorce Settlement. This one has them all beat. I guess sometimes a simple “This just isn’t working out for us”, “We should really see other people”, even the dreaded “I want a divorce” isn’t good enough for some of us “dumb guys”. We may need something a little “stronger” to get the point across. Read on.

It’s murder by numbers, 1,2, 3 (and 4!) …

Congratulations if you made it through all four stories. As you can see, the ‘Court TV’ coverage was quite extensive. I don’t have that channel, so I missed the live reporting. It wasn’t until I was well into preparing this feature until I realized that she killed her husband the exact same way, several years before! Have to hand it to you Ladies, when you decide to go ‘Praying Mantis’ on us, you can get awfully creative. When men decide to do away with their mates, it is usually much more impulsive, brutal, and sloppy. The names O. J. Simpson and Scott Petersen come to mind.

 

You’re probably wondering what my fascination with this series of stories is in the first place. Here’s why: I personally know a man who had an experience with some similarities to the case presented here. During his marriage (now over) he had a sizeable amount of life insurance benefits in which his wife was always named as the primary beneficiary. He was also frequently encouraged to get even more. Only for himself, mind you, never his wife. And yes, he did find that strange, but he went along with it anyway. The reasoning given by wife and the insurance agent was that “You’re young and in very good health, so the premiums will never be more reasonable.” Over time however, he became increasingly suspicious, even to the point of allowing a $50K policy that he felt pressured into getting to quietly lapse before too much was paid into it. Wife found out about it too late re-reinstate it, and was not pleased with husband. She then took a more active role in making sure the other policies got paid on time.

 

Over the years, the marriage went increasingly sour, for a variety of reasons. But that’s another story. They both became unemployed for an extended time, to the point that their overall financial situation was at great risk. Note this parallel to story #3: He actually told his wife at one time “I’m feel like I’m worth more to you dead than alive”. Exact quote. Her response? She just looked away and said nothing. Something had to be done. Enter, her parents. A plan was devised where her financial well-being would be just about guaranteed, and his death could easily be judged an accident. It almost happened that way, with one major problem:

 

He didn’t die. In fact, he’s doing quite well these days. And telling his story to anyone who will listen.

 

You may ask why he didn’t go to the authorities with his story. Well, here’s the problem. This man also has a bad tendency of getting into situations with no witnesses or anyone credible enough to speak on his behalf. He only has his own testimony to go on, and is always outnumbered by the opposition. Very difficult to win a case this way. He also believes that the persons involved will in fact, ‘reap what they sow’ when all is said and done.

 

UPDATE: The end of the story...

Until next time, “No thank you, I’m going to have to pass on the Jell-O…”

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